What Comes First You may feel guilty about your passionate hours away from home and have a compulsion to “make up for lost time” with the family. Take it easy. There’s no need to overcompensate. Take this quick test. If you don’t answer YES to all of the following, you need to think again about having an affair and reprioritize your focus and activities. • Do you always make sure that the family comes first? • Do you and your lover accept the fact that either of you may have to go home sooner, or may suddenly call off a rendezvous altogether, because you are needed at home? • You try not to overcompensate the kids with extra toys or paint their bedroom to show you care. Read the book for more.