Your family knows they can always get in touch with you at any time through your cell phone. Start changing that right away! Get out of the habit of answering the phone the moment it rings. Get caller ID on every phone you own, and if possible, on your work phone. When you see your better half is calling, don’t pick up and don’t call back for 10 minutes. Next time wait 20 minutes. But don’t answer any other calls either. You can’t take the chance that a family friend will say they spoke to you when you plan to tell your spouse you weren’t near the phone. Read the book for more.
One-night stands or a handful of convenient trysts are considered short term affairs. During a short-term affair, don’t feel obligated to fill in your new companion about the details of your life, which include your full name, address, profession, family, etc. There is no reason for them to know so much personal information. Many tend to even lie at this stage simply due to safety precautions or to round out the fantasy. If you do make things up, keep it simple and easy to remember in case you decide to meet up again. Read the book for more.
Don’t fall victim to the “Tiger in A Cage” syndrome. That’s when you pace around the house wishing you were really having sex with your lover. It’s when you look out the window, in the direction of your rendezvous spot, grasping the sill with your hands while your heart is beating a mile a minute. Do your best to control these episodes. It will happen because you are sexually aroused, and your adrenaline is pumping.
Keep in mind that, without a condom, you are having sex with everyone your lover has ever been with. There’s no reason in the world to have unprotected sex. Don’t fall for the lines about condoms restricting motion or sensation. In addition to AIDS leading to a horrific death, hepatitis kills more people than AIDS. Even if you take AIDS tests, you can never know what other diseases may be lurking around in your lover’s system.
You’ll sleep longer and harder than before because having an affair is mentally and physically exhausting as well as time consuming. Unconscious tension will sap your strength. Try taking short naps whenever you can to keep up your energy at home and at work.
If your affair turns into a legitimate relationship, the two of you have to seriously talk about the future and figure out if you both are willing to split up your families. At this point, there is a lot at stake and you both must think long and hard about it. You and your lover must go to a lawyer together and get advice. It’s imperative your lover comes with you. If they aren’t willing to go now, they won’t ever make a real commitment to you any time later on. You need to make sure your lover is, at all times, just as serious as you are about where your relationship is going, if you plan on ending your marriage.
Women will wear full make-up more often now and should start wearing make-up every day, even when at home. If someone notices and asks why you’re wearing it, smile and ask if it looks good. Laugh and feel pretty. Let your make-up become part of your everyday life, without making a fuss about it, and no one will notice it later on. This way when you get all dolled up to meet your lover, you won’t look different than on the days when you’re not planning a date. Plus, good make-up can cover any unwanted love bites you may get during passionate love-making. Of course, you will make sure that your lover does not leave any marks, and you will speak to them about it.
Your lover may introduce you, or you may introduce your lover, to sex toys. Do your best not to take these toys home with you, especially if you have small children in the house. They find everything! If you must bring them home, it’s imperative you locate a spot where you’re sure no one can ever find them. No, the top shelf of your closet is not a good idea. Kids climb up on chairs. The garage isn’t a good place either. You know your house. Find the safest place!
There must be someone you know who is pretty knowledgeable about computers. Start by asking them how to delete files. Have them explain how to delete your email history and delete your cookies (especially if you were surfing the net for sex toys or day-use locations).
If your spouse shows up at your job unexpectedly, make it short and sweet and get them out of the office quickly, without raising suspicion. Your spouse could easily pick up on a vibe by noticing something as simple as an exchanged smile between you and your co-worker/lover. Your lover may even confront your spouse with a look of triumph, possession or guilt.