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Tiger in the Cage

Don’t fall victim to the “Tiger in A Cage” syndrome. That’s when you pace around the house wishing you were really having sex with your lover. It’s when you look out the window, in the direction of your ren­dezvous spot, grasping the sill with your hands while your heart is beating a mile a minute. Do your best to control these episodes. It will happen because you are sexually aroused, and your adrenaline is pumping.

When It’s Over

So Long, Babe! One day your affair will be over. If you want to end the affair, then you must play fair. Sit with your lover, explain that you cannot see them any longer due to your guilty conscience, your need to be with your family, or whatever other reason you have. Be as honest and as straight forward as you can. It will be far less painful if you’re telling the truth. You can only hope your lover will be as considerate should they decide to end the affair. If the affair is waning and you find your lover has become hesitant, or started giving nonsensical reasons, or no reasons at all for their illogical behavior, just let them go. Some people simply don’t know how to end it and find it hard to articulate their reasons and many can’t even look you in the eye when they have to express them­selves. Read the book for more.

Elena

Thank you, thank you, thank you! Who would have thought about my perfume getting on him! His wife would have recognized it right away! And the idea about maps, OMG, it saved me and got me home safely! You make it safe and, you’re so right, no one else should be involved, especially his wife! OMG, when I think about the driving! If I hadn’t checked…!

Condom?

Keep in mind that, without a condom, you are hav­ing sex with everyone your lover has ever been with. There’s no reason in the world to have unprotected sex. Don’t fall for the lines about condoms restricting motion or sensation. In addition to AIDS leading to a horrific death, hepatitis kills more people than AIDS. Even if you take AIDS tests, you can never know what other diseases may be lurking around in your lover’s system.

Anthony

I am a specialist in my field and am recognized by many. When my significant other gave me your book he pointed out the many ways to avoid being seen. The numerous ideas in the book, even the part about parking, have been invaluable. You are correct, it takes time to plan an affair. Your book made it far easier. My partner and I thank you. I will not continue on fear of giving myself away, but there are several gentlemen in my profession who would benefit from your fascinating and informative book. Be assured that I will discretely advise them to purchase it immediately.

True Story

A dear friend did not think far enough ahead when he asked the carwash attendant to “clean the car thoroughly”. They removed all telltale signs of the tryst he’d had the night before, except one. While driving the kids to a soccer game, one of his children looked up and said, “Daddy, what’s that?” He adjusted his mirror as he drove, and suddenly saw a shoe print on the ceiling! He changed the subject, making them forget the odd question but during soccer practice he quickly scrubbed the car ceiling clean.

True Story

One acquaintance who had an affair did her shopping one summer morning but didn’t have a cooler. She left two cantaloupes in the trunk of her car for the entire eight-hour workday. It took several service men in a local carwash, and a lot of air freshener to get the smell out. It also took hours of repeated explanations to her husband, who could not understand how melons could make the car smell so badly, thinking she had bought them only an hour before.

Perfumes, Makeup and New Clothes

Getting Ready Start using a body cream, aftershave, perfume or co­logne that’s a little stronger than the one you usually use. A good body cream will keep you safe from any odors, natural as they are. • If you don’t want to put creams in sensitive areas, try some hair conditioner or baby oil after your shower. They have pleasant fragrances and will be less likely to cause an irritation. • Get those plastic travel bottles that are small but seal well. Fill them with lubricant or cream. One can hold toothpaste or mouth wash. Keep a pack of wet ones in the car or carry a small pack in your bag. Your best bet is to have a small bag with all these items at work. This way you can freshen up before a rendezvous if it’s after work hours. There are showers or Jacuzzis in the day-use place but at least you’ll come in smelling like a rose. Read the book for more.

You Never Did That Before!

Safety First Picking out a piece of toast from the toaster with a fork may kill you. Having sex without a condom will kill you. As you plan your affair with your soon-to-be lover, the first thing to talk about is having safe sex. If you’re too embarrassed to bring up the subject of safe sex, condoms and AIDS tests, then you’re not ready to have an affair. When you have an affair, you need to be in control of your health, your body, and your expecta­tions. Read the book for more.