A dear friend did not think far enough ahead when he asked the carwash attendant to “clean the car thoroughly”. They removed all telltale signs of the tryst he’d had the night before, except one. While driving the kids to a soccer game, one of his children looked up and said, “Daddy, what’s that?” He adjusted his mirror as he drove, and suddenly saw a shoe print on the ceiling! He changed the subject, making them forget the odd question but during soccer practice he quickly scrubbed the car ceiling clean.
One acquaintance who had an affair did her shopping one summer morning but didn’t have a cooler. She left two cantaloupes in the trunk of her car for the entire eight-hour workday. It took several service men in a local carwash, and a lot of air freshener to get the smell out. It also took hours of repeated explanations to her husband, who could not understand how melons could make the car smell so badly, thinking she had bought them only an hour before.
You’ll sleep longer and harder than before because having an affair is mentally and physically exhausting as well as time consuming. Unconscious tension will sap your strength. Try taking short naps whenever you can to keep up your energy at home and at work.
Getting Ready Start using a body cream, aftershave, perfume or cologne that’s a little stronger than the one you usually use. A good body cream will keep you safe from any odors, natural as they are. • If you don’t want to put creams in sensitive areas, try some hair conditioner or baby oil after your shower. They have pleasant fragrances and will be less likely to cause an irritation. • Get those plastic travel bottles that are small but seal well. Fill them with lubricant or cream. One can hold toothpaste or mouth wash. Keep a pack of wet ones in the car or carry a small pack in your bag. Your best bet is to have a small bag with all these items at work. This way you can freshen up before a rendezvous if it’s after work hours. There are showers or Jacuzzis in the day-use place but at least you’ll come in smelling like a rose. Read the book for more.
Safety First Picking out a piece of toast from the toaster with a fork may kill you. Having sex without a condom will kill you. As you plan your affair with your soon-to-be lover, the first thing to talk about is having safe sex. If you’re too embarrassed to bring up the subject of safe sex, condoms and AIDS tests, then you’re not ready to have an affair. When you have an affair, you need to be in control of your health, your body, and your expectations. Read the book for more.
Coffee table books are meant to generate interesting conversation. This wonderful book will surely do that. I recommend it highly.
My friend started going to the gym several times a week out of necessity. He usually ate dinner with his lover – whether it was an actual meal in her apartment or the cookies and coffee that came with the day-use room. When he came home in the evening, his family of course expected him to eat dinner with them too. The pounds began to show! While he used the gym as an excuse to get out of the house, he also used it to lose the extra weight.
If your affair turns into a legitimate relationship, the two of you have to seriously talk about the future and figure out if you both are willing to split up your families. At this point, there is a lot at stake and you both must think long and hard about it. You and your lover must go to a lawyer together and get advice. It’s imperative your lover comes with you. If they aren’t willing to go now, they won’t ever make a real commitment to you any time later on. You need to make sure your lover is, at all times, just as serious as you are about where your relationship is going, if you plan on ending your marriage.
Questions for You, Questions About Your Lover What do you expect from this affair? Friendship? That’s possible. Sex. For sure! Love? Not likely. A life together? That’s an unrealistic dream. How does your lover handle this affair? Are they responsible at keeping secrets and having safe sex? Are they considerate and kind to you or do they only care about sex? Do they understand this could never go farther than an affair and anything more would only put you both in harm’s way? Read the book for more.
This book would of come in handy when I was caught dating a married man by his wife. I bought a copy for my current lover so his wife doesn’t find out that he has a gay lover.